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    December 02

    Dog and Cat Diaries

    The Dog's Diary
     
    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


    The Cat's Diary

    Day 983 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
    hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
    rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order
    to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
    attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
    I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
    demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending
    comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
    placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
    However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
    my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
    this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
    again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released,
    and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously
    retarded.

    The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with
    the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
    My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
    cell, so he is safe. For now...

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    Alan K.wrote:
    LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it!!
    Jan. 17

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